Sometimes there are more questions than answers.

One of the hardest things about my grandfather's unexpected passing (you can read about it here) were the questions that followed. Why was it that a man who lived such a good life had such a tragic ending? Why did he have to be taken before he got to meet his two new great granddaughters? Why couldn't the nurses have just followed orders? Why, why, why? 

While thinking about some of these things, I really came to appreciate the fragility of life. I've always been pro-life, but have become even more so recently. A woman's right to choose exists in her right to choose whether or not she participates in sexual activity (yes, I realize there are times a woman does not get to choose this, in relation to rape, incest, etc.) I do not believe it is a woman's right to choose whether or not she carries life- similar to how it is not my choice today whether or not YOU get to live or die. You are alive. It's that simple.

I have drawn closer to my family in ways that I hadn't before Grandpa's passing. I was always close to family, but now I appreciate them in ways I had taken for granted. Grandpa's life has made me want to work harder for those around me and to focus less on myself. It has made me want to tell YOU just how important you are to me. It has really given me perspective on what is important in my life, as cliche as that might sound. 

I haven't found the answers to why Grandpa is no longer here, why Claire and Gabe won't get to grow up with him around. If anything, I've developed more questions. Each holiday and milestone bring another wave of sadness at what we're missing. But what I guess what it all boils down to is that with grandpa's passing came a lesson learned: sometimes there are more questions than answers. And that's ok.

We're not expected to know why. We're just expected to learn and to carry on. To do. To be the hands and feet of Christ. One day all the questions will make sense. Until then, we just have to keep moving forward.

Happy 90th Birthday, Grandpa. 
We miss you so much.